Walking my dog this morning got me thinking. Is America falling apart because of a lack of community? Are the country's values changing because of a lack of belonging?
These thoughts came to me as I walked past my neighbor out doing yard work. We said the customary “hellos” and I proceeded on my way. I realized that I can tell you about my neighbors based on their yards, their pets, their cars but I cannot tell you their names (except the ones who have their last name outside their house). For example, I can tell you this man and his wife are retired. They have beautiful hibiscus plants that bloom in the summer which were given to them by a friend years ago. They sit on their front porch talking with friends. They both laugh when my 6 lb dog barks at them in their own yard. I know all of this but I don’t know their names. At least two out of my dog’s three walks daily take the same route. Along the route there is the family whose grandmother has a little dog that looks like mine. There is the man and wife with the corgies and squirrel feeder in the front yard. There is the house for which my husband and I called the “witness protection” house all summer because there was little little activity and never any lights on. There is the house with the “scoop the poop” signs on the fence which of course is the yard my dog prefers to do his business on. I can tell you all of this (and more) but I cannot tell you a name. Is this my fault for not introducing myself when I moved in? We’re just renting and this is/was supposed to be a short stay until construction is done on our house. Is this my neighbors’ fault for not welcoming me to the neighborhood when I moved in? Do people even still do that anymore?
I thought back to the previous block I lived on in this town. It was a short street ending in a cul-de-sac. Our mailboxes were all together in the middle of the cul-de-sac. It was a street comprised of only duplexes in which my landlord own all of them. I didn’t know everyone’s name on that street but I did know more than I do now. Is that because I lived there longer? Is that because it was 5 years ago and people wanted to know their neighbors and now everyone busies themselves with their own lives without concern for others?
Growing up I could tell you the names of at least half of the people on my country road. I had phone numbers for a few of the houses to call in case there was an emergency between when the bus dropped me off and my parents got home. I could even tell you the names of people that lived by my grandmother who I only visited about twice a year. It was a long drive from Texas to Nebraska so we would stay a few weeks at a time. I became friends with the girls 3 houses down. My extended family lived in this town. It was a small town. Are these the reasons I knew my grandmother’s neighbors? Or is it because it was the 90’s and people enjoyed a sense of community and belonging?
All this has me wondering, is this lack of community I’m seeing now the reason there is more hatred in the country? Do people no longer have loyalty to their neighbors, their communities? If people no longer have a sense of belonging do they no longer have a sense of empathy or caring for others? Are we more concerned with how many friends we have on Facebook or how many follows we have on Twitter than we are with how many people we know in our everyday lives? Growing up it felt like communities stood by each other. People knew their neighbors. Now it seems like every time something horrible happens in the country the common response from neighbors is “we never really saw him/her” or “they seemed like a nice family.” If all that we know about our neighbors anymore is just perspective how can we expect our communities to flourish in a positive way? I don’t know the answers to any of the questions nor do I expect others to know the answers. All I ask, is for you to think about your sense of community belonging the next time you are out and about in your neighborhood. Maybe a friendly “hello” needs to turn into an introduction.
